Learning from Ignatius' Pilgrimage

I suppose I initially chose to take this course on Ignatius of Loyola because I did not want to graduate (I am a senior this year) from a university that bears his name and carries on his principles without learning who exactly this man was, and how and why he became such a prominent religious leader whose society remains strong 450 years later. This was until the first class session.

I went into the first session thinking we would learn about this important historical figure, and that his life would certainly be interesting, but I did not necessarily expect to apply what he learned in his experiences throughout his spiritual journey to my life. But then major two questions were raised in class that I often think about, and I realized then that I might relate to Ignatius significantly more than I had first anticipated. The first asks what we want and are supposed to do (perhaps there is an important difference between the two) with the talents that have been bestowed to us. The second asks how we can live a life for and with others, rather than in constant competition with them. Ignatius thought he had his the purpose of his life figured out from a young age, but his decision was coming from a vain, self-centered place, with no regard for how his life could affect others, in a positive or negative way. But then this happened to him in Pamplona...

and his dreams of grandeur and chivalry were thwarted. This event teaches the important lesson that life intervenes unpredictably, and we are not always in full control of our destiny, as much as I would like to believe that we are. I sometimes think that life will intervene in a positive way, that something will happen to steer me in the right direction, to show me what I should be doing. But then I wonder if the existentialists are right, and that I have no purpose, that the world has no real use for me, so I am free to do whatever. Ignatius's belief that God has a purpose for all of us, and that it is the goal of our spiritual journey to find that purpose would be the antithesis to this view. The latter sounds appealing, but I do not know if I believe in a God the same way that Ignatius did; it is yet to be seen as we have not gotten into his spirituality yet. In short, I do not know what my own spiritual beliefs are yet, much less what my higher purpose in life is, but I am deeply concerned with pursuing the ever-elusive answers. This Dali depicting Dante at the beginning of his Inferno, is an accurate depiction of me right now, and I suppose most people my age (not to speak for anyone else though).

I am hoping that studying Ignatius's spiritual journey will shed some light on these questions that frequently occupy my mind. I am by no means expecting to finish this class and have found concrete answers, in fact I am certain that this will not be the case, as these questions do not come with easy answers. Rather, I would like to at least be able to change the way I think and how I see the world, in a way that will allow me to live a life that will most benefit others, while still bringing me some sort of satisfaction.