Accepting Ignatius's indifference to move past our own indifference

“We should not fix our desires on health or sickness, wealth or poverty, success or failure, a long life or a short one.” - Ignatius of Loyola, on indifference

These words of Ignatius of Loyola pose a challenge of unbelievable magnitude to probably just about anyone who reads them. He is quite literally telling us not to place importance on the very things we have been taught to cultivate and value most in life. It goes without saying that I have failed in this challenge up to this point, as we all have. 

I admit that I was initially hesitant to accept Ignatius' indifference, because I had misunderstood what he really meant. He did not advocate indifference to the world around us, but to the things in our life that tend to preoccupy us, and distract us from our higher purpose that God has planned for us. I then saw that this "indifference" to our well-being actually translates into the opposite of indifference; love and action for the betterment of our fellow man. 

 

Ignatius is warning us not to let ourselves be guided by material concerns when trying to find our path in life; all of these concerns combine together to form a mass of dissonance and confusion that prevent us from true discernment. I have not adopted wealth as a false god, however I am guilty of placing too much importance on health, success, and a long life. I cannot seem to find the exact quote, but I remember reading a quote from German filmmaker Werner Herzog, that expressed his admiration for people who did not try to preserve themselves, who lived their lives free from those kinds of constraints. Ignatius' teachings have made me think of this notion in a new light; to truly be free and capable of pursuing my higher purpose, to love fully the people who I am close to, I must drop my attachments to personal well-being in a material sense, and focus on the end rather than the means. Perhaps if I focus on the ultimate goal that transcends material attachments, these material things will take care of themselves. 

I have noticed how my attachments relating to self-preservation have come up when I have considered going to serve in parts of the world affected by disease and famine. I need to move past this if I am to achieve this balance and freedom so valued by Ignatius. I also feel attachments to the people in my life, which I think Ignatius would approve of, as these sorts of attachments are not material, however I do find myself thinking how I can see myself making serious decisions in my life as far as where I will go, largely based on where my loved ones will be. I would like to get to a place where I can find a balance between my attachments for people, and what I feel I must do to get closer to my purpose and my God, whatever that means. With "one foot in the air" as Ignatius put it, is how I want to go through life, always ready to go where I can do the most good, without worrying so much about my own material attachments to health and success. This will be an ongoing and incredibly difficult challenge, but certainly one worth fighting to achieve, for only then will I be able to fully love through my work and actions.